Surviving Life's Lessons

October 26, 2012

Fat people have feelings too . . .

Filed under: Bullying, Love yourself, Obesity — mlarocque11 @ 10:07 pm

One of my main gripes has been how my family and classmates treated me while growing up obese.  My mother always wanted me to be someone I couldn’t.  My classmates just called me names.  Well, not just me but any kid who was different from what they thought was “normal”.  I know it’s just how kids act, today it’s called bullying, back then it was “kids being kids”.  I wonder how many of us were insecure when we were kids, learning how to get along with new people and situations we’ve never been through.  How many of us remember the first time  we had to changed in a locker room in front of everyone?   For some of us it was embarrassing because we all looked different, especially for swimming class!  For me it was mortifying because I had to wear the school provided bathing suit in an XL.  I remember one time I went into the girls locker room and all the XL bathing suits were in front of my locker.  All I could hear were the girls laughing.  Just kids being kids, right?  It wasn’t until my mom went and bought me a new bathing suit  (my first Speedo!) that I felt more comfortable and strangely, the girls left me alone and picked on some other poor insecure girl with a flat chest and pimples.  Kids being kids.   Well, what if they’re adults?

Most of you have known me since we were kids.  We either met in school, at work, through our kids or we’re related in some way.  It’s no surprise that I have a weight problem and I’ve been battling my weight my whole life.  As a little girl my mother would take me to drs to put me on diets, give me diet pills, go to Weight Watchers and Medical Weight Loss Clinic.  I joined gyms and Curves and have always fought hard to be the healthiest me I could be.  I even went so far as to have bariatric surgery although my results were not positive I did lose some weight but did not have the dramatic weight loss that others have enjoyed.   I have overheard remarks from strangers in elevators because of my weight.  And although I do have a serious weight problem I am under my drs care and am evaluated every 3 months to make sure everything is the same.  I am still trying to lose weight and trying to teach my girls about healthier eating but you can’t change in a day.  I’ll be battling this for the rest of my life and all I can say is thank you to my friends and family who accept me as who I am, not whaI look like.  I’ll telling you this because I wanted to share what happened to me when my sister-in-law and I went to breakfast Monday.  We sat down and I noticed that this woman and her mother were dining across from us and they were both staring at me and whispering. Thinking perhaps she recognized me from a school function for the kids I smiled at her and continued my conversation with Patty.   All of a sudden this woman comes over and  leans on the table and proceeds to show me her driver’s license and a business card and says “this is what I looked like before my bariatric surgery and look at me now!  My dr can help you too”  I was mortified and felt sickened that I must look so hideous that a stranger would say this to me!.  I am a big woman, my high school friends would probably be shocked at my size but I’m still me.  I am under my drs care and am not diabetic, do not have high cholesterol, my good and bad fats are normal and my heart is healthy and doing fine.  I am working on losing weight and teaching the girls about portion control and healthy eating.  All I ask is that if you see a morbily obese person don’t assume they’re not trying to be healthier, don’t assume they’re lazy or poor and on welfare.  My problem is not pity it’s ignorance that strangers, cruel teenagers, even people you know think large people don’t deserve the same respect as someone at a healthy weight.

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